Saturday, 23 June 2007

The Touch Typed Diary - Closure

And so ends this tiny glimpse into my psyche of 2002. I hope you enjoyed it or at least found it of interest.

Most of the people you have met in those few pages are now no longer part of my life. MPB, the polish woman, I decided to let go after a while when I realised that the relationship was too strongly tipping to her advantage for my liking. I perhaps did not do that at the best time for her, and I am slightly ashamed of that timing but I had to be done.

Right after my trip to Paris, PFM decided to cut all communication with me, without explanation. This did not come as too much of a surprise as I had seen her do the same thing to other people in the past. My guess is that she got back with K. and that my insistance, when I saw her in Paris, that it was probably best for her that the relationship should have stopped did not endear me too much. I don't know.

MFS gave up on my after a while when she saw she could not interest me in her buddhist practice. She also found herself a boyfriend and moved on with her two teenage sons.

I can not quite remember what happened with P. I had completely forgotten about him actually until re-reading these pages. I think that we kept in touch electronically for a while but never met again and he stopped responding after a while. I have also lost touch with my former landlords and flat mates.

F. I hear of from time to time, usually via a message on Gayromeo. He had a relationship for a couple of years with a guy and is now at the beginning of another one, I think.

GSJ are still good friends. He is now one of the people I have known the longest in London and one of my closest friends (although that is quite a relative title as we only meet every few months, usually for a play). He has been living with a guy for a few years now.

It is interesting to see how naive and judgemental I was at the time. I hope I have move on from this but I am not convinced at all that I have. Those 15 vignettes also show how little my life has moved one in five years. Of course, I have moved house, given up on a job and found another since then but I am still hanckering for companionship. My hopes still find themselves raised by what seems to be new beginnings when it is only a false start.

"Plus ca change, moins ca change" as you say in this country.

All the installments are here.


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