Friday, 13 May 2005

Squid or the Broken Mechanics of Brief Encounters

My Friend the Designer (I will call him MFD from now on, I think) is not happy. He read yesterday's post and he thinks I should not describe myself as having a "lanky frame and eagle-like physiognomy". He says I should go for "squid-like" instead! Private joke apart, he believes I am too hard on myself and that I am neither lanky or burdened with an aquiline noise. I say he needs glasses!

We discussed all this yesterday evening and we quickly launched into a discussion on the mechanics of brief encounters. It is very much springtime for MFD at the moment and he is feeling full power of that vivifying sap flowing through his veins. In short he has been a bit of a tart (with a bike, not with a cart. Sorry, another private joke) for that past month or so (and he won't thank me for this...). Now, it is all very well to be feeling this way but it takes (at least) two to alleviate the itch. My theory (which I explained to him) is that there are three basic criteria for an "itch-scratching session" to happen. First you need to meet like-(one track)-minded people; ie guys who are into sex with other guys. Second, you need to fancy the guys you meet and third they need to fancy you back.

Now I understand that you might be able to schoomze your way in the third part of the deal and that perhaps one might close one’s eyes and think of England as regards the second but it seems to me that the first stage is completely independent of one's volition. I have already hinted at this in a previous post: I personally don't even manage the first criteria. MFD and I agreed that we meet approximately the same number of people in our daily lives but none of those I meet seem particularly homosexual to me. How come it is happening so often for MFD?

Then there is the fact that I am so picky. Although I do manage to find some strangers I see in the street attractive, I can safely say that there is no one in the people I know I could see myself yearning for.

Finally, the third point. Any one who knows me a little will testify that I have radars for eyes: when I am in a public space, I keep on watching people, men to be specific. If anyone did look back at me I would be pretty certain to notice them doing so. That very rarely happens.

In the end, as ever, my questions remain unanswered. MFD will happily carry on his prurient life and I will miserably carry on my spinstery life….

1 comment:

  1. Dude, maybe people would look at you if you didn't watch so closely for them to do so. I don't like looking at people when I know they are looking at me, especially when I'm checking out other females (I'm a bisexual female, I guess... I have a boyfriend, I love him and love sex with him, but I find myself attracted to many females and almost no males other than my boyfriend.) But anyway, I don't know if you will read this comment since it is a little bit further back in your blog, but if you do, try not looking so much for the attention. Maybe it will come your way on its own. In case you were wondering, yes I am a totally random person that just stumbled on your blog through google browsing. Check out my blog if you are interested.


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