Wednesday, 6 April 2005

Mirror, Mirror - Light Gender Theory

One often hears that women are more superficial than men because they are the ones who are for ever worrying about their hair and what they are going to be wearing and "does my bum look big in this".

I have my own little theory that they probably are not but that men are (superficial that is). I think women are so conscious of their appearance because for centuries they have been "groomed" (!) by the socially dominant sex (those bastards!) to behave in this way, to try and appeal to them. And that in fact men are the ones obsessed with appearances. Do not women say that the don't really mind what their man looks like as long as he is nice and makes them laugh? Some even profess preferring the Teddy Bear look, whatever that is. Men are all focusing on boobs and bums (the straight and the transgendered ones that is). Of course this gender divide is now getting blurred by the current trend for cultivating the right image and everybody feels the pressure to look good.

I often think that gay men (although a lot of them seem to behave like prepubescent girls) have the same qualities and defects as any other men but that for some reason their personality traits are exagerated, made stronger perhaps by the fact that they grow up and live (read: are pushed) outside normal social rules and constraints. Every homosexual know that the "gay scene" is all about what people look like; all about form no substance. Who is wearing the news clothes of the right type, who has been going to the gym and is able to show off those abs and "does my cock look big in this".

Concretely for me this means that, while I don't even have the excuse of being able to say I am good looking too, I would just rather look (I don't tend to do much more) at good looking people than at mingers when I go out. When I hear about a club or bar described as having "no attitude", I groan and run as I have grown to know that this is a bye-word meaning that most people there are mingers.

I am pleased to say that I have had "offers" from very nice people in my time (intellectually nice, that is) but not people I found physically attractive and while I recognise the importance of intellectual chemistry for a lasting relationship (and I know that for some this only means staying until breakfast!), I also believe that there has to be some physical thang. I therefore had to turn those people down often the detriment of our friendships. I know this is bad to be superficial like that but however much I think about it and try to reason with myself, I can't help what attract me. I am as shallow as the others, what is a boy to do?!

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