Friday, 6 April 2007

The Touch Typed Diary - Moaning

Some background to what follows can be found here. Other installments are here.

I started this as a way to train at touch typing (hence the title) which I have finally taken up learning more or less seriously. At first I was typing what nonsense came across my mind and deleted it once I had finished. Gradually, it just turned into a diary relating the events (not very numerous) of my life. This has also the advantage of keeping me relatively busy at work when I have nothing else to do which seem to happen rather frequently these days.

22 January 2002

I am tired, hungry and lonely and, yes, I like to moan! And so what? Nobody is here to suffer from all this moaning so I can not see why I should not carry on like this to my heart’s content. I know it is very bad but I am not getting any more patient these days. Be careful, I am just about to start moaning again!!! I suppose this all comes from the fact that I have so little to be satisfied with in this bloody life of mine. Hopefully, my improved typing speed and the experience I will have gained from this place will allow me to find a real job for once with something to do. Another thing is the fact that they asked me to go to this meeting yesterday. I think there are two possible explanations for this:
First they need to show that the section is committed to the Best Value thingy and that is obviously no good to me.
On the other hand this might be a sign that they really like the way I do my job (when I have something to do, that is) and they have plans for me. I.e. they are considering keeping me here and offer me a real position and a contract. One can dream, can’t one?
I think that, as usual, a good way to alleviate some of the strain I feel in my miserable little life just now would be for me to get more money and also perhaps more things to do when I am at work. More things to do as it would simply make me feel better about myself and money because I would then be able to spend it and do some retail therapy… Anyway I have not heard from the agency that sent my CV for job the other week which means: not now; you still have to wait honey!
I am bored with waiting I have to say; I have been waiting for so many years now. I more and more feel like I have been wasting my life and still am. The major problem then being that I am so used to be passive and to wait for things to happen that I do not really know where to start to stop this vicious circle.
Yesterday at the rehearsal, this guy said that it was a question of meeting the right people and I know that to a certain extent it is true and finding a job is definitely a question of luck, but where and how to meet the right people ? It seems especially complicated for someone like me who is sooooo crap at meeting people.
Anyway I think I should really make the effort of going to this Christmas party on Saturday; it will probably be boring as hell and I will end up in a corner like a plant, as usual but if I do not make some sort of effort, I will get nowhere that’s for sure. At least I would have tried. I will probably not stay long anyway, as people seem to be getting drunk fairly quickly!!!!

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