Some background to what follows can be found here. Other installments are here.
I started this as a way to train at touch typing (hence the title) which I have finally taken up learning more or less seriously. At first I was typing what nonsense came across my mind and deleted it once I had finished. Gradually, it just turned into a diary relating the events (not very numerous) of my life. This has also the advantage of keeping me relatively busy at work when I have nothing else to do which seem to happen rather frequently these days.
22 January 2002
I am tired, hungry and lonely and, yes, I like to moan! And so what? Nobody is here to suffer from all this moaning so I can not see why I should not carry on like this to my heart’s content. I know it is very bad but I am not getting any more patient these days. Be careful, I am just about to start moaning again!!! I suppose this all comes from the fact that I have so little to be satisfied with in this bloody life of mine. Hopefully, my improved typing speed and the experience I will have gained from this place will allow me to find a real job for once with something to do. Another thing is the fact that they asked me to go to this meeting yesterday. I think there are two possible explanations for this:
First they need to show that the section is committed to the Best Value thingy and that is obviously no good to me.
On the other hand this might be a sign that they really like the way I do my job (when I have something to do, that is) and they have plans for me. I.e. they are considering keeping me here and offer me a real position and a contract. One can dream, can’t one?
I think that, as usual, a good way to alleviate some of the strain I feel in my miserable little life just now would be for me to get more money and also perhaps more things to do when I am at work. More things to do as it would simply make me feel better about myself and money because I would then be able to spend it and do some retail therapy… Anyway I have not heard from the agency that sent my CV for job the other week which means: not now; you still have to wait honey!
I am bored with waiting I have to say; I have been waiting for so many years now. I more and more feel like I have been wasting my life and still am. The major problem then being that I am so used to be passive and to wait for things to happen that I do not really know where to start to stop this vicious circle.
Yesterday at the rehearsal, this guy said that it was a question of meeting the right people and I know that to a certain extent it is true and finding a job is definitely a question of luck, but where and how to meet the right people ? It seems especially complicated for someone like me who is sooooo crap at meeting people.
Anyway I think I should really make the effort of going to this Christmas party on Saturday; it will probably be boring as hell and I will end up in a corner like a plant, as usual but if I do not make some sort of effort, I will get nowhere that’s for sure. At least I would have tried. I will probably not stay long anyway, as people seem to be getting drunk fairly quickly!!!!
I started this as a way to train at touch typing (hence the title) which I have finally taken up learning more or less seriously. At first I was typing what nonsense came across my mind and deleted it once I had finished. Gradually, it just turned into a diary relating the events (not very numerous) of my life. This has also the advantage of keeping me relatively busy at work when I have nothing else to do which seem to happen rather frequently these days.
22 January 2002
I am tired, hungry and lonely and, yes, I like to moan! And so what? Nobody is here to suffer from all this moaning so I can not see why I should not carry on like this to my heart’s content. I know it is very bad but I am not getting any more patient these days. Be careful, I am just about to start moaning again!!! I suppose this all comes from the fact that I have so little to be satisfied with in this bloody life of mine. Hopefully, my improved typing speed and the experience I will have gained from this place will allow me to find a real job for once with something to do. Another thing is the fact that they asked me to go to this meeting yesterday. I think there are two possible explanations for this:
First they need to show that the section is committed to the Best Value thingy and that is obviously no good to me.
On the other hand this might be a sign that they really like the way I do my job (when I have something to do, that is) and they have plans for me. I.e. they are considering keeping me here and offer me a real position and a contract. One can dream, can’t one?
I think that, as usual, a good way to alleviate some of the strain I feel in my miserable little life just now would be for me to get more money and also perhaps more things to do when I am at work. More things to do as it would simply make me feel better about myself and money because I would then be able to spend it and do some retail therapy… Anyway I have not heard from the agency that sent my CV for job the other week which means: not now; you still have to wait honey!
I am bored with waiting I have to say; I have been waiting for so many years now. I more and more feel like I have been wasting my life and still am. The major problem then being that I am so used to be passive and to wait for things to happen that I do not really know where to start to stop this vicious circle.
Yesterday at the rehearsal, this guy said that it was a question of meeting the right people and I know that to a certain extent it is true and finding a job is definitely a question of luck, but where and how to meet the right people ? It seems especially complicated for someone like me who is sooooo crap at meeting people.
Anyway I think I should really make the effort of going to this Christmas party on Saturday; it will probably be boring as hell and I will end up in a corner like a plant, as usual but if I do not make some sort of effort, I will get nowhere that’s for sure. At least I would have tried. I will probably not stay long anyway, as people seem to be getting drunk fairly quickly!!!!
Comments
Post a Comment
Please leave your comment here. Note that comments are moderated and only those in French or in English will be published. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and to leave a thought.