Friday, 27 January 2006

Paying for Sex

There has been much comment on the blogosphere on the recent revelations of gay sex within the Lib Dems party. I have, of course, commented myself. Among others, I came across this post, expanding the debate slightly, and I left the following comment:

I hate to start my commenting on this blog with a negative note but it seems to me that you are making an erronous amalgam in this post.

While Oaten probably did pay for sex (although I am not sure how one can have a "relationship", as the business has been described, with someone one pays), Hughes does not seem to have paid for sex and as far as we know the sex he got was conscensual.

As for using chat lines, that is what they are: phone lines allowing men to hook up for sex: the forebears of Gaydar if you like. Again no money has changed hands between the parties involved (although the operators of the lines do get some money).

I think their is a big difference in this between the straight and gay world. Straight men, to find relief, have it much harder the gay men. They have to "deal with" women who are generally not ready for a quick rump. Gay men, because the "deal with" other men, find themselves on a more level field as both parties are more or less looking for the same thing. The criteria for an encounter to happen are then reduced to looks and probably age.

I have a feeling the gay guys involved in the sex trade do it much more out of choice than their female counter part. There is, to a certain extent, a glamourisation of sex on the gay scene and there not as much stigmatisation as their is in the straight world. Escorts (as we call them) generally also operate on their own and do not work with a pimp as women tend to do, I believe.

Comment: So what if Hughes and Oaten are gay or bisexual?



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2 comments:

  1. I've read this wih interest, and while I agree with you over some points, the confusion over escorts and rent boys (with whom Mark oaten was involved) needed correction, I've posted a entry that you might like to read:
    Sunshine on a Spoiltless Mind: Escorting

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  2. So do you think it's less problematic for gay men than for straight men to pay for sex? It sounds like the gay sex industry is less exploitative, which does help, and I read an interesting article in the Guardian today where a gay prostitute says that most of the men he sees are in straight relationships, and he has taken a counselling cource to help them deal with their feelings about their closeted existences. Sounds very responsible!

    Still I can't help but feel nauseated by the notion of anyone paying for sex, it is just so opposed to what I think of as being what I look for sexually (primarily, the enjoyment of my partner) - what is wrong with finding "relief" at the end of your own right arm? I would be desperately distressed if anyone I was in a relationship with also used prostitutes.

    Incidentally, apologies for my lack of understanding re sex lines versus chat lines - not really my field!

    PS for the record, couldn't care less if my politicians are gay or straight or unclassified.

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